FUCK me.

I want to BF!People may think that Im whiny and all but who cares? This is my freaking blog.And if you dont like it,buzz off.

- I think he's gone.I havent seen him in 4 days already.I wonder what's happening to him.Think he found someone else and decided to not tell me about it coz I mean nothing.Am I being paranoid?AM I? Its just that I dont know a single thing about him now.Its like Im losing him bit by bit and now I lost him completely.Some say Im wasting my time with him but it feels so real.And I actually have feelings for him.A strong feeling.Not just a crush.Its more.I used to think that he's the one for me but now that he's disappeared,I dont know anymore.

- I know Ive been saying that I want to end things with him but I cant.I really cant.It's just that when I talk to him,I melt.He's such a wonderful guy.The sweetest that I'll ever meet.But it's online and the thought of him not being real scares me.What if he's a fake?What if he's playing me?What if there's no JOSH? I cant live with that.He's apart of me now.Somehow.And deep down of me,I want to be apart of him.I want the things that he told me.The things that he promised me.I want all that.But its hard.People say if you dont have trust,you dont have anything at all.

- I do trust him but not 100%.He's in the phils and Im in Malaysia.

- I was talking to Seng Chee just now.And he almost made me cry.He's such a wonderful guy.I want a guy just like him.He talks a lot like Josh.And Seng Chee just officially made me one his best girl friends.ahaks.And he's going to treat me.YUM~..

- I miss Josh.Whatever.But I do miss him...