Im Morbida..

- My back hurts.My legs are hurting too.

- Have you ever feel the feeling of uncertainty?I cant say what Im feeling right now.Is it loneliness?Is it fear? I just dont know.I just cant seem to...Feel..Cant seem to find the words to say.But like I said I cant feel.So there's no way in finding the words..

-Curiousity.I think that's it.The feeling.Im curious about alot of stuff.I wont state what coz I'll look like one dumb lady.Lady?LOL.Im curious about alot of stuff.What and how does it feels like to be in college?How does it feel like to have someone who would always be there no matter what?I had Josh before but I have to understand his situation innit?He's not mine anymore so I cant expect him to be here always.

- I think I'm surrounded by people that cares.I have Hilly to talk but like I said I have to understand.She has college to worry about.Assignments.I have colleagues.But I just dont seem to fit in.It's like Im still a stranger.I try to be more like them but thats just not me.Haih..There will always be a hole in my life.And that hole is getting bigger and bigger by day.

- " Let by gone be by gone".Is that how we spell it? Anyway,its so damn easy to say! Im trying to move on.I dont want to be the pathetic me anymore but its so hard.You think I like having low self-esteem? You think I like putting myself down always?I dont.I really want to fix it tho some people may not notice it.But sometimes past experiences was so great that its really hard to get over it.I tried reading self-help books.But its not helping.I have to fix me.What the fuck is wrong with me?

- Sometimes I wish I can say "That guy is so hot and he's so going to be mine". But reality check.I can always say it but it would never happen.Why?My lack of self-esteem.Anyone here know how to boost self-esteem?

- I want to move on and yet I'm not ready.Or in other words,I dont want to move on.I am still the same person.I am still Delaila who doesnt give a shit about what people may think about her.Yeah.Am still Delaila who's madly in love with Joshua and think that she's in denial.Am still Delaila who starts reading Tarots (its fun when you know how to read it).Am still the same Delaila who's into goth shit.Am still the same Delaila who digs books,writing poetry and loves listening to music.Am still the same Delaila who's so full of rage,lack of patience and rebellious BUT trying hard to keep her rage under control and trying to look for more space patience-wise.And I try not to rebel that much tho sometimes I do look for my knife.lol.My knife's is with my maid.Found it.Took it.Sial je.But nvm.For better use.I'm still me I guess.But with a different name.Im MORBIDA.

- Where am I getting to?I have no idea.All this doesnt make much sense.

People who bough 'The Rule of Four' is stupid coz its damn boring.Its not even half as good as 'Da Vinci Code'.'He's just not that into me' is great.Made me realize something.But 'Honestly,you're not that into either' is full of shit.The guy doesnt know what he's talking about.

Think Im going to borrow some lovey-dovey books tomorrow.OR maybe self help.

Hilyah has new hair.Her new hair reminds me of Zul's old hair.Sorry Hil and Zul.Eyh..That's compliment tau!I think Zul's old hair rocks!Retro.Cantik.ahha..Dee sewel la.

Im off..I think Color My Iris best.ahhah..Dont you think so??

BYE!.