9.24.2005

I cant stop writing
Your always in my head
My feelings are fighting
Because I want you to be dead

Dead in my head
But diffidently not for real
I want to rest in bed
And have dreams for you not to steal

I want to sleep in peace
But you call interrupting
It is such a tease
And always so abrupting....

Cause I don't want to let go
You are the one I love
It will forever show
Until I'm headed up above

Maybe that day is soon
I can see it around the corner
Then I'll just be another buffoon
Without another mourner

He would never cry
Or even show his face
Cause he wishes me to die
For I'm such a disgrace

Or is this just my mind
Making up another way
One more way to find
And lose another day?

Cause things don't look so good
And the future has nothing to hold
Just when I thought it would
It was taken, and suddenly sold

So why should I go on?
Because nothing is ever right
Why cant he be the one
To help put of a fight?

I just wanted to be happy
And see the light of day
But things just get more crappy
In every single way...

I cant see through the dark
And I'm suddenly smitten with fear
What you did left a mark
And made me cry my last tear...

For my heart will not break
Not one second more
It's time for this spirit to wake
As my body falls to the floor

As soon as I am up above
Or in the lair of the devil
I'll be watching my white dove
Become just more of a rebel..

I'll be whipping away tears
That used to cause pain
And show no more fears
Cause this life is not in vain...

I will not talk of you
As you talk of me
That's not something I can do
And I'm so sorry you cant see..

I love you with my heart
Every God d a m n peace
The one that's ripped apart
And has blood in the crease

They say he's not worth my tears
But I know he is
He's why I fought my fears
And continued to live

So how can you stop loving
When you care so much
And they suddenly stop coming
Your left without a touch?

I'm sorry that I cry
I know you don't want to see my tears
But without you I would die
And never get through these years...

At least that's what I thought
Long and behold
I can move on
And find some heart of gold

There is someone for me
It will just take time
And suddenly I will see
Love is not a crime...