A new beginning?

Some parts of me are happy to leave Subang.
Some parts are sad.
I guess Im happy coz Ive never been away from home and this is my chance.
Im sad for the very same reason too.

I will truly miss my nieces & nephews.
Can you imagine, my Liyana who's 4 months old will be 7 months when I get back!
I dont think she'd remember me.
Im gonna miss singing hey diddle diddle to her.
God, Im missing her already.

Saw Yoke, Clay & Clay's fren this eve.
Yoke said something that made me realize something.
Im not depressed anymore.
Im not heart-broken anymore too.
Im not unhappy too.
Im content with my life now.
Its true, time heals all wounds.

I used to wonder as to why Im single and why nobody wants me.
Im still wondering.
But the difference is that right now, I dont care that Im single.
I think Im better off this way.
I am obviously happy being like this.
I so do not need a guy to make me happy.
Good music, book & company is more than enough.

I have one more thing troubling me tho.
My weight.
People say Im slim but I feel fat.
I dont eat all that much but I feel fat.
And when I do feel fat, I'd take those sinful pills.
The next day, somewhat diarrea (is that how we spell that?)
It seems bliss to me.
I am actually happy having diarrea.
I am sick I guess.
Ive never told people this.
Dont know why Im writing this now,right here.
Time to let go I guess.