Italiannies, The Gardens.

Right now. Right this very moment. Life has changed. Definitely has changed.


My working days in Friday's Subang is over. The management has transfered me to Italiannies, The Gardens as a Restaurant Manager. Am excited and nervous to be honest. Ive got no experience or the knowledge. But I'll give it a shot.


Pretty shocked when I got the news coz it was too sudden. They told me on tuesday and I had to start on thurs. I wasnt prepared at all. I wasnt really to leave fridays. I knew I had to leave eventually but I didnt expect it to be this soon. I havent even finished my training. So yeah. Right now, I actually miss the people. Truly miss them. I didnt even get to say proper goodbye.


I miss. I miss. I miss!!! I miss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Italiannies on the other hand. Is totally different from fridays. Not busy. Definitely not busy. Very posh. Semi fine dining. The GM is great. His name is MR VICTOR. The bar manager reminds me of calvin. Haha. His name is Ronnie. A very nice guy. He made me feel welcome already. I am the only lady manager btw. Hows that? There are too many male workers. So. I dont know. All I know, I cant compare to fridays. No comparison.

Sneak Peak

Where have I been? Ive neglected my blog for almost a month. Ive got things to spill but sometimes I just couldnt find the words. Either that or Im just plain exhausted. Thats all Ive been ever since Ive started work in Fridays. Its not always fun and pretty. I worked hard. And at the end of the day, I smell like pepper. Black pepper. Thats what happens when you work in the kitchen. You just smell weird. Good enuff I dont smell like chicken or meat.

I do have to admit that Im enjoying every second of working. Plus minus of course. Its not easy. And being an MIT, people do expect alot and put high expectations. And I have to exceed it. Not easy at all. Life was so much simpler when you dont have to guide and manage. Especially not easy for me because when I first started work, I had next to zero knowlegde bout friday's and the food. After being briefed, I found out that I have to know every single thing bout the food.And its not an easy job.

I started off being a hostess/ spg for 3 days. Honestly, it was quite dull. And boring. If there isnt any people coming in, then you'd have absolutely nothing to do. And when I was working as a hostess, it was fasting month. Means, peak hours are from 6pm onwards. Had reservations and waiting lists as well.

Then I became a waitress or dub-dub. The term in friday's. It was most fun. I seem to like meeting people and I often times try to give them the best service. Then there's the birthday. Oh yes. The standing on the chair. The singing with the chilli or ketchup bottle. The clapping. The stomping. Good moments. I had most fun being a dub.

Bar. Wasnt as fun as being a dub but it was alright. I just didnt know the recipes thats all. I do now =)

Kitchen. Started off as a fryer. Production wise, still alright and ok. Not too much and not too little. But working in the line when the orders piled up, NOT FUN. Had to get dirty coz I had to work with flour, fry batter, cajun flour and flour again. People kept saying that fryer is the easiest. I disagree.

Next was Plate Nacho. Being in the line was fun. Made nachos and salads and sandwiches. It was alright. But production wise, a pain truly. Too many things to be done. And some of the things the shelf life is just a day. And you have to do it every single day. And its not easy. Very tacky. But I went thru it anyways.

Sautee was ok? I did production most of the time and didnt get the chance to be in the line often. So I think I kinda missed out on sautee. But Im gonna request to Mr Nick (GM) to go back to sautee. I need to know.

I was in broiler last week. It was fun. Hot and fun. Productions is simpler than the other stations. Grilling meat and chicken and salmon is fun. The people in broiler are fun. They are fun to work with and they're not even stingy. They share whatever knowledge that they have with me. And they even let me do things on my own. I was more independant in broiler. I found my calling in broiler =)

I just started window today. Same goes with window. Fun. Not too many heavy productions. In windows, I just need to gather the food items together. Plating it. No big deal. I know my way already.

Next week, expo and dessert making. After that, off to the front of the house where I will be trained as a real manager.

All in all, I realize how tough it really is to be a manager. I was 'tortured' by Jawa the kitchen supervisor. I asked me loads of questions. And whenever I cant answer, he'd say that I should know coz if I dont, how can the staff respect me as a manager if I dont know shit? Good point. But really, Im only human. I am stationed at 1 station for only 6 days. How is it possible for me to remember all the ingredients? If thats not hard enuff, I have to also remember how many ML that goes in. How many MM of a certain cuttings. So stressful tau. Too many things to remember in such a short time. I dont know how Im gonna do it, but I'll do it.

Tmrw, I work at 7 am. Tuesdays are inventory day. Yippeee... NOT.. I have to check every single thing in the kitchen and restaurant. Count that is. With that, we'd know the losses. Grr..

On weds, I have to work morning again (8-6). I have to check the temperature and check the meat items. Honestly, I didnt know what I was doing. I couldnt even differenciate striploin and ribeye! haha. I wondered what on earth was I even doing here? haha. I learned. Not so tough after all.

There you go, a little sneak peak of my life in fridays. Its pretty much monotanous. For now. Friday's is like a second home. I spend more than 10 hours there. I guess this is my life now.

rest!!

So wow.. Almost a month in TGIF Subang. Tiring, I have to admit. But fun.

There are times when I wished I was still working in MPH. But nah.. Friday's is great. A sad thought that I will be transfered as soon as Im done with my training in Subang. I even dreamt that I was transfered to Penang. Horrible really. I hope I get to stay or at least transfer to Sunway. Itd be the best next thing.


Just got out of work. Tiring really. 10 hours since 8am till 6pm. My feet is sore. Now Im in the kitchen. Fry department. Its ok I guess. Work's fine. When its not slammed tho.


I was at the bar dept before I went into the kitchen. It was alright. I didnt know what needed to be done so I didnt do much except observe. Nandhini helped as much as she could. I was grateful enough.


The people are nice. Some are not sincere, I can see. And I dont care much bout them. As long as they dont mess with me.


I really wanna blog. I really do. But Im exhausted!! I need the rest!! grr.. bye.

New Chapter.

Another chapter of my life is over. A new one awaits.

My decision to quit MPH was sudden. Very sudden actually. Im not sure if Im entirely happy about it. But I am excited about starting my career in Friday's. Nervous excited to be exact. Ah well, it has got to happen eventually. Back to MPH, I was there for only less than 3 months. I was happy, I dare say. It wasnt bad. Well, being in paperback was bad enough. But it was great in total. Had a whole load of laughs. Even better with Yaya arnd. We go waaaaaaay back, innit? Everything seemed too great. Sure, I had my moments where I wanted to quit. But I think I was just overreacting. Work is work. If its not making you stress, then it aint work, i guess.

What am I supposed to do with all the pens that I have?? I asked Yaya, she said I could use it to take orders. Hahaha.. Funny lass.. But seriously, I think thats what I'd be doing in Friday's. Take orders. Hmm.. Come to think of it, I really dont know what I'd be doing. I really dont know what to expect! I dont know if I'd be good or great or terrible at it. I dont know if Id be disappointing the people who hired me.

But hell........ If they thought I aint good enough, they wouldnt have hired me now would they?! They must've seen something in me. Other than being nervous that is. Coz I was SUPER nervous before the interviews. Being hired in Friday's as a Manager in Training is too good to be true. I mean nothing great has ever happened to me. And to be working in Friday's is awasome! Its not just some crap restaurant. Its a great restaurant with a great personality! And to be able to be apart of it, truly is a blessing.

I'd still go to MPH to visit Yaya, Andy & Shah ( can you believe it?! being the mean him!!). They have made my stay in MPH worthwhile. I'd visit to buy books and demand discounts that I so truly deserve. Why? Coz I am a loyal buyer! haha. Have to give me discounts people!! In conclusion, I will definately miss the people in MPH. No, correction. Im missing them already! Coz they truly are cuckoo in the head!


Love life update. Love life is exists! Dean is around. Doing great. I guess. Fought a WHOLE LOT last month. Alot less now. Not complaining. I guess Im blessed. I wish I know how to be more grateful then itd be more meaningful.


TOMORROW, new work. New frens. New chapter as manager in training at TGIF Parade! Toodles!

survey wey

[one] what is your natural hair color?honestly:- black i guess.

[two] where was your default picture taken?honestly:- in my room =)

[three] what's your middle name?honestly:- just dont feel like telling right now.

[four] your current relationship status?honestly:- taken.

[five] does your crush like you back?honestly:- indeed.

[eight] What makes you happy?honestly:-dont know.

[ten] if you could go back in time and change something, what you would change?honestly:- i would not have chopped my hair.

[eleven] if you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?honestly:- a bird or a bat. to know how it feels like to fly without being frightened?

[twelve] ever had a near death experience?honestly:- not that i know of.

[thirteen] something you do a lot?honestly:- be mean.

[fourteen] the song stuck in your head?honestly:- relax - mika.

[fifteen] who did you copy and paste this from?honestly:- James =)

[sixteen] name someone with the same birthday as you?honestly:- dont know anyone.

[seventeen] when was the last time you cried?honestly:- i dont cry. nuff said.

[Eighteen] have you ever sung in front of a large audience?honestly:- i guess.

[nineteen] if you could have one super power what would it be?honestly:- mind reading and the ability to move things coz im sucha bum.

[twenty] what's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?honestly:- anything lah. dont care nemore.

[twenty-one] what do you usually order from starbucks?honestly:- i seldom go to starfuck.

[twenty-two] what's your biggest secret?honestly:- its fer me to know.

[twenty-three] favorite color?honestly:- black. purple. red. white.

[twenty-four] when was the last time you lied?honestly:- just now.

[twenty-five] do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?honestly:- nopes.

[twenty-six] what are you eating or drinking at the moment?honestly:- nuthing.

[twenty-seven] do you want to learn to speak any other language? if so, what?honestly:- french. learning.

[twenty-eight] what's your favourite smell?honestly:- babies =)

[twenty-nine] if you could describe your life in ONE word what would it be?honestly:- unfair!

[thirty] when was the last time you gave/received a hug?honestly:- feh.

[thirty-one] have you ever been kissed in the rain?honestly:- might have.

[thirty-two] what are you thinking about right now?honestly:- the unfairness of me life.

[thirty-three] what should you be doing?honestly:- balik rumah!.

[thirty-four] what was the last thing that made you upset/angry?honestly:- just shitty ppl!

[thirty-five] how often do you pray?honestly:- not often.

[thirty-six] do you like working in the yard?honestly:- i do not.

[thirty-seven] if you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?honestly - boyd =)

[thirty-eight] do you act differently around your crush?honestly:- nopes. what you see is what you get.

[thirty-nine] name one song that reminds you of an ex?honestly:- FEH!

If only..

My fellow college frens has started higher diploma yesterday. I wished I had started too.

Ms Cheng from Taylors called me up yesterday morning. Asked me why I am not continuing. I told her Im having some financial problems. She mentioned that since Im a bumiputera I am entitled to get 40% off and that I can apply ptptn to cover the rest. I was half asleep and told her I have to talk to my mom first and that I'd call her back asap. Before that she said it'd be a waste if I dont continue because I was from diploma going on straight to term 4 higher diploma. I was happy coz I thought I had the chance to continue. I took Ms Cheng's number.

I showered and bla bla.. Talked to my mom. She wanted to know details. So I called Ms Cheng to ask her the total fees for higher diploma option B. She said she'd call me again in 5 mins to re-confirm. My phone rang in less than 5 mins. It was Ms Cheng. It was some chinese girl. Ms Jenn kot. She said the total is RM 17335. When I mentioned the 40% off, she said she'd call me again in 5. In less than 5 mins, Ms Cheng called me. She said that since Im not entitled to get the 40% off coz I didnt get it previously. So I cant get it anymore. I told her I joined taylors in 2005 and there wasnt such thing back then. She said yeah. They introduced it last year. So I said," its not my fault. You mentioned the 40% off to me just now and said Im entitled to it and now you're telling me a whole different thing." I was furious. Dont mess with me. Especially when Im VERY VERY EAGER in continuing. Messing with me means bad news. She said that I can apply ptptn and it will cover 16k of the fees. My mom needs to pay only 1k. I was not happy. Obviously. It wasnt right to ask anymore money from her. She's spent alot on me already. And she's not exactly the richest woman alive. Not when my dad's being a bum at home.

I thought I had 70-30% chance to continue. So now my chance went down straight to nil. I told Ms Cheng that Im not continuing. Bumped of course. Pissed at her. Woke me up and gave me false hope. Fuck it.

Met up with my college frens in pyramid during lunch. Was sort of sad coz I saw them all in formal attire and I wasnt. They were saying that the subjects were very serious and that they are learning everything in a manegerial way. Sort of. Zara mentioned that they neednt do F&B service. I'd be the happiest if I was in higher dip. Lets just say F&B is not my strength. It was nice seeing them. Really and truly.

I didnt think it'd be this hard to swallow the fact that Im not a student anymore. Im not studying in taylors anymore. What I did last month in taylors, I will never get the chance to do it anymore. I wont get to learn french and kitchen class. Dishwashing, not that I liked it. But as I recall now, it was fun. It was tiring. But it was fun. I wouldnt trade it for anything.

Now that Im not in taylor's anymore, I have absolutely nothing to brag bout. Nothing.

Akila called me up just now and asked me to meet her up for lunch tmrw in college along with Zara. Mcm segan. Coz ive got nothing to do with that place anymore. Ive got no purpose. Segan la. Why does it have to be very hard to get over taylors?

I'd give almost anything to study. If I do get the chance, I'd work my ass off and will make sure I'd get top student so that I can get 50% off. I dont want to burden my mom anymore. Why cant I be blessed like Ice? She's so unbelievably blessed. If I were in her shoes, I'd appreciate everything that she's learning in higher diploma. If only ey?

OVER!

Its over. O-V-E-R! FINITO! haha. Oh my. Happynya aku. It was scary waiting for it to be done. Now that its done, WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!

I wasnt able to sleep properly. Just naps. ergh. Went to college and lepak-ed with Liao. I panicked. I was so scared. Didnt know what to expect. Sweating like a pig. Wanted to piss in my pants. Had butterfly in my stomach. Thought itd be hard and scary. I thought wrong.

I cant quite remember the name of the main course. It was chicken with brown sauce and mushrooms along with pommes cocotte, glaze a blanc carrot and jardiniere french beans. Instead of a starter, we made a dessert. Apple tart. Pheeeww. Thought we had to make choux pastry or something. Haih. It was great. For me. =)

For a person who always screw up in kitchen, today was great. Everything went smoothly. My short crust pastry was a little bit wet but it was fine. When I blind baked it, it was evenly baked which I thought was weird. haha. My apple stew was great. After 2 hours, I sent my dessert to the Jury. Phewww again.

Sending dessert would mean, I had to rush my main course. Turned my potatoes and carrots while sautee-ing the chicken. I was so caught up with turning my veges that I terburnt my chicken. Bit only la. It was fine. Blanched my french beans. Glazed a blanc my carrot. That, was a wonder to me. Usually, in class, i'd burn my glaze. Or turn it into amber but today, it was perferct.

Chef Kartina reminded us that we had only 1/2 hour left. Then I realize that I havent done my sauce. I havent even peeled the mushrooms!! Or cut the shallots! I was like 'fuckkk'. But I calmed myself down and tried working a fast a I could. Luckily, it all went great. I had Chef Thanda to thank. He was my jury btw. He helped alot. ALOT! Grateful I am!

All in all, I am happy. I did the best I could. Im satisfied. Sort of sad too. All this means, no more college to Delaila. We shook hands with all the Chefs. Made me sad. Everything seems so final. Chef Bruno and Chef Pascal was saying that we should continue higher dip to learn more bout cuisine. Sedey aku sedey. How I wish I could. Haih.

No higher dip means no more hanging out with James, Kyky, Zara and the rest! Im gonna miss my tonedeaf fren, kyky for singing till hujan. Miss eating mee hun telur goreng kedai uncle. I will not miss level 7. Hahah. Dowan la talk bout college. Sedey. Coz I really do like my college. College life is sooo muccchhhh better than highschool. Too bad I have to stop at diploma. ='(

Anyways, time to hunt for a job. I should call that Tim dude. Chef Patrick gave me his number. Said that he's opening a restaurant in Bangsar and looking for kitchen crew. Chef Patrick said to tell Tim that Im his student, said i'd get the job immediately. Haha. Nice ey? Indeed. Even Chef Thanda pun suruh apply for Garden Hotel. A new hotel that'll open in Jan. Hmm.. wahhh.. teehee. I'll think bout it.

=(

I wil be getting my diploma after tomorrow. The scariest part : facing tomorrow. Kitchen practical finals. TAKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTT!! teehee.. that should justify my feelings right now.

I didnt know sitting for finals can be so scary. Management paper was NOT easy! Cuisine Tech was fine. Enviroment english was NOT easy too! I mean, finals is supposed to easier than trials right? Gimme a break. Then it was professional conduct. I dont know whether I did good or bad. French oral next, it was ok. Not excellent or great. Just ok. Bm pun just ok. Now, mmg confirm 1st mention tak dpt! blearghh..

Ive been tagged!

1) Name one person who made you smile last night.

I dont think I smiled last night. No reason to. Was rather pissed.

2)What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?

In la la land still.

3) What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Online. Frenster. you know..

4) What was something that happened to you in 2006?
Training in Club Med happened. It was great. Got together with Dean =)

5)What is the last thing you said aloud?
" Udang tak sedap la. ergh. "

6) How many different things did you drink today?
I had iced milo for lunch. Then iced nes-lo.. haha. plain water. plain water.

7) What color is your hairbrush?
Black & Red =)

8) What was the last thing you paid for?
Prepaid haha.

9) Where were you last night?
At home. Being pissed.

10) What color is your front door?
Creamish.

11) Where do you keep your change?
In the coin compartment. Honestly, all over the place la.

12) What is the weather like today?
It rained then it stopped. Then it rained again. I blame Kyky mostly. For singing. Tonedeaf. haha.

13) What is the best ice cream flavor?
I like choc. Chocolate mousse royale from baskin robbins. Tiramisu - haagen daz. yum!

14) What is something you are excited about?
Kitchen practical finals to be done! omg.. its scary to even think about.

15) Do you want to cut your hair?
feh. no. its already too short.

16) Are you over the age of 25?
I muda lagi ok.

17) Do you talk a lot?
If Im in the mood, then yeah. Non stop. chot chet chot chet!

18) Do you watch The O.C.?
If ingat, then watch la. But i wouldnt call myself a fan.

19) Do you know anyone named Steven?
Not that I know of.

20) Do you make up your own words?

Do I?

21) Are you typically a jealous person?
I have my moments. thats for sure.

22) Name a friend whose name starts with the letter “A”
Aisya.

23) Name a friend whose name starts with the letter “K”
Oh yes...my tone deaf friend= KYKY-------> Yes I agree JAMES!!

24) Who’s the 1st person on your received calls list?
Zara..

25) What did the last text message you received say?
Dean said he wants to take his shower. =)

26) Do you chew on your straws?
I dont. But i do stupid things unconsciously. haha.

27) Do you have curly hair?
Nopes. Not curly.

28) Where is the next place you’re going?
No where anytime soon.

29) Who is the rudest person in your life?
Its for me to know.

30) What is the last thing you ate?
A sandwich.

31) Is marriage in your future?
Indeed it is.

32) What is the best movie you’ve seen in the past two weeks?
Pirates 3 & shrek 3. Pirates was great ok? I really dont get ppl saying it sucked and all. If tak faham, say tak faham. Dont kutuk instead. You shouldve watched the 2nd one the day before you watched the 3rd one. I soo tak tahan ppl who kutuk. It was a GREAT movie!

33) Is there anyone you like right now?

Im attached. I think its more than just 'like'.

34) When was the last time you did the dishes?
I do dishes everyday. Ey.. ish.

35) Are you currently depressed?
Nopes. I could be. But Im not. The old Delaila would have been. haha.

36) Did you cry today?
No. No reason to cry.

37) Why did you answer and post this?
James tagged Dee!! Oh NO!!.

38) Tag as many people who would do this survey.
wah.. james modify the question ey? i tag CHAI YI!! AND CHAI YI ALONE!!

dulu-dulu

I want to post pics, can? Can la.. =)
I wish this pic was clear too. The petite girl in the middle is Yuli. Was the Restaurant Manager.
With Chef Pat & Kak Ila. I miss!
Xavier Sumbat!
Second training. With Chef KhomKham from Thailand and Abg Mi!.

Currently, craving for home made roasted chicken with mashed potatoes. But oven rosak! Menyampaaahh.. If only the oven's fine.. I can actually practice trussing the chicken with my very own trussing needle! Woah. So bangga! Dee ada trussing needle! haha. The rest of my classmates pun ada. Big deal. =)

I slept rather late last night. Woke up very late too. Showered and bla bla. Came down around 1pm. * anak dara apa nih?* Anyways, mama tgh goreng ikan. I asked her what we were having for lunch. Not that I care, I dont eat lunch. Just wanted to know. Mane lah tau kena beli ke. She said she's fine with the lauk that we have. Ok. I asked if my dad makan ke lauk tu. My dad's super fussy. Mcm Simon Cowell when it comes to food. No kidding. So my mom asked me to goreng sayur. More like goreng cabbage. teehee. Ok. My mom took her shower.

After she's done, I asked her how to potong the cabbage. I mean, wtf? Im a cuisine student! Cuttings are the very basic. I SHOULD know how to cut a bloody cabbage! Then my mom said to potong suka hati. So I just potong reasonably. Sgt blur la Dee. So while I was cutting the cabbage, my thought was elsewhere. Thinking bout something else. Ive got so many probs right now. Finals. Desire to continue Higher Dip but cant etc. So, since my mind was not in the kitchen, I potong the whole cabbage. THE WHOLE CABBAGE! And I was cooking only for my dad. And the whole of cabbage is not little. Then my came, she was shocked la. She was like, 'whats wrong with you today? why are you so blur?' I kept quiet. I, too didnt know what had gotten into me. IM A CUISINE STUDENT FOR GOD'S SAKE!

She left. I kept half of the already cut cabbage in the plastic. Then I was prepared the mise-un-place. I opened the fridge to grab the blended onions, then I saw my mom. I asked her again, ' guna bawang blend ke?' My mom gave me that look. She msk dapur again, she asked me, ' dee tak pernah masak sayur goreng ke?' I said ' pernah but lupe la.. blur sgt today!' She didnt say i cant use the bawang blend, but based from her reaction, I knew I wasnt supposed to use bawang blend. I kena guna the actual bawang and slice it.

After Im done, I pun start la masak. But after I dah letak the bawang, garlic and chicken, I froze. I didnt know what to do next! Bodoh gila. I letak the oyster sauce when I was supposed to letak air! Then, the whole thing hangus! EEEEEE.. Bodoh. My mom came. Then she started lecturing me =)

Then I pun start masak for real. I knew what to do after kena lecture.

Whats the most important thing when it comes to cooking? The outcome of the food and the taste right? That was what I DIDNT do today. I didnt taste the food. And kena kasi my dad makan. Nasib it was ok. My mom said it was nice. My said he blh bau my sayur from afar! so, i guess the blur-ness paid off. =)


Put all that aside..

I still have to accept the fact that this month is my last month in Taylors. And the mere thought that I wont be a Taylors student, makes me sad. I really want to study. I really really do. And it sux coz I cant. I might not see or talk to half the frens I made in college. And thats sad. I love college. I love college frens. I love my lecturers (maybe not all. Definately not my enviroment lecturer. Yes, he sucked.) I love my college subjects. I love it all. Its like when you're studying in Taylors, you have things to brag about. And you just know your college is so much better than KDU or Uitm. And I know I belong in Taylors. Ive been to Uitm. And not that its bad, its not. Its just not the right place for me. I have a different mentality.

I truly will miss Taylors. No doubt. I wont forget my college frens. I wont forget my lecturers. I just wont forget anything! I refuse to forget! Pinch me if I do!

Ive learnt alot. No doubt. The highlight of Term 1 would be that english group assignment! Zara, Akila, Delaila and Inghaw went to Italiannies in OU. Our assignment was to go to a culturally inclined restaurant. And do a presentation bout that specific restaurant. It was a blast. I could never look at bananas the same way again. Thanks Ing Haw. Thanks alot.

Term 2 was fun coz of Oenology! We had Mr Daniel. Oh my, he's GRRRR hot!! Put that to the side, he's got good teaching methods. Hes great at stealing ppl's attention. I mean it. I still remember the charade games that we played countless times. The time where Mr Daniel impersonated Ms Lay Bee. It was hilarious! And of course, the assignment. Wine making. It was a blast! It wasnt as pretty. The making of the wine that is. The crushing and pressing of grapes was just disgusting. Trust me. It was fun la. Not to forget that I got Chef Patrick Siau as my chef lecturer! Before I went to my first prac class in term 2, I almost pee-ed in my pants. It was scary. But I thought wrong. He was great.

Term 3 was just fine. Nothing major happened. Maybe except zara, ice and i was excited bout industrial training. We all applied in Club Med and got accepted. EXCITED gila when I found out!

Training was great. Met lots of great ppl. Met Dmo, Abg Najeb, K.Ogy, Abg Adi, M.I.K.E! and Dean of course. Fell in love with club med. How can you not? Its so gorgeous there! I didnt wanna go home.

Term 4 came, got together with dean. Term 4 was ok. Specialized. Chef chong. I didnt fancy him much. He didnt fancy me too. So I didnt do well in prac. I was scared of him. He scared he shit outta me. Had to go to industrial training again. Picked Club med again. Mainly coz of Dean. But also coz I had so many family probs. I needed to go away.

In club med again. With dean. Was undescribably happy. I didnt want to come home. Got bullied in the kitchen, no doubt but i was happy. Celebrated raya there. On the 1st day of raya, I had to work at 6am. SEDEY TAU!

Term 5 was great. Term 6 is great. I dont want to leave Taylors. I dont!!

CLUB MED
With Ika.
Sonya. Ika. Wee2. Dee. Azza. In front of Rembulan & Lautan Restaurant.
I wish this pic was clearer. Ahmed,Purchasing Manager. Me. Will,Gestion Dude. haha. Chef Don,Exec Chef. All of them left CM Cherating.

life's a bitch

Been fighting with Dean for a few days already. We fight. We make up. Fight & make up. And now, we just made up. So sick of fighting. I dont need this now. Not when my finals is next thursday. But he's not the only one to blame i guess. Maybe Im not understanding enough. Its like the more I try to understand him, the more confused I am. I dont know. I love him. Without a doubt. I guess relationships arent supposed to be easy. There'll always be ups and downs. Like a wheel. What goes up must come down. Oh well. The rest is for me to know, keep and forget.


Lets talk bout today! Today was the day I dread. French oral. Not easy. I was never good at french. In short, i was not confident with the whole french thing. Barely slept. Woke up early. Showered bla bla. Reach college. Mamak with Ice, Reuben and Liao. Went up to level 9 and started practicing the french thing again. As soon as they called Reuben, I started shivering. It meant, my turn was coming soon. Then they called me. OH NO! Entered the preparation room. And was given a passage to read. I screwed up jugak la. It was cool coz Mr Yeoh was my Jury. From nervous terus tak nervous. He made me feel calm and comfy. So it went ok la. I could've done better. I know I couldve done better. But all in all, it was not as bad as i thought it'd be. It was funny actually. Reuben la. Rubena la. har har. ANYWAYS, Im happy trials is over. I flunked it I think but Im glad its over. Denise said trials are always hard. I guess she's right. I should study harder for finals. I hope can get that 1st mention. Haih. Mcm tak dpt je.

Gerrrrrrrrrrr-am

Now, everything's not right. And I dont need it now. Not now. Not when trials is 2 weeks away. No, make it less than 2 weeks. And finals in the following week. And what's happening now, I dont need it.



I JUST DONT NEED IT NOW!!

Whats your inner color?

Your Inner Color is Red

Your Personality: Self-confident and stunning, you live in the now! You love life and experience all it has to offer. You in Love: You're a bit private and have trouble opening up. You need a secure partner who can deal with your independence. Your Career: Your ideal job gives you a ton of control and concrete results. Consider being a chef, surgeon, or architect.

What's Your Inner Color?

See.. A chef? SEE?? Its meant to be!!

Hospitality

I went to Nando's at Parade last Weds with my sister. Actually it was my idea coz I wanted to try nandos and she's a fan and knows what to order. Bumped into Chef Chong. Awkward really. Anyways, while I was waiting for my food and my sister told me to turn arnd. And so I did. I saw an old school mate of mine. She was in my class in form 4 for a while then she shifted elsewhere. So chatted and all. Was talking bout her. Her studies. You know the whole catching up thing. Then she asked if I was still in TCHT. I said I was, then she said me, ' senang.' It was in a polite tone. I mean I know you're doing law and shit. And I know it aint easy doing law. Ive never under estimated other courses. I never did. Never will.

There are people out there who dont know what Hospitality means. Sad really. What we do, are indeed very important. We supply the 3 very basic human needs. Food, drinks & services.

Face it, we dont want to have dinner or lunch at home everyday. It gets boring. I know. Im one of those. And when you do go out for lunch or dinner or whatever, the f&b people takes your order. Without them, your food wouldn't get delivered. F&B people can be those servers in fine dining restaurants to the An-ne's at mamak stalls. So basically, without them, you wont get your food.


We supply food. You go to a certain restaurant, you demand food. Thats when we come in. We cook your food. The food that you want. So, basically, we're the reason you even leave the house. And for you not to know what HOSPITALITY means, pathetic. Just sad. No offence.


What we do in hospitality school are anything BUT easy. We're learning how to give good services. I'm learning how to cook serious shit good but weird food.

Shame on you who thinks hospitality is easy. Think again. I'd like to see you do what I do. Its not only mentally challenging, its physically challenging too. Standing from 12 pm to 10 pm plus is not fun. We're basically stuck in a very hot kitchen! Not to mention packed.


I do what you do. I learn law. I do finance. I do marketing. I do accounts. I business math. I do Human Resource. I do Enviroment. I do English. I do more than what you're doing. Im doing the very basic. Let me ask you something, do you do Oenology? Do you do Housekeeping? Do you do Front office? Do you do Kitchen technology? Do you do F&B? No right? So just think wisely before speaking. You are doing law. You should know better.


Im sorry if I sound childish. I find it unfair for people to look down on hospitality. Its NOT a course for those who failed SPM. Many people joined this course mainly because they thought it is not maths involved. Think again. We do math. Business math. And it aint easy. So yeah. Im pissed alright. What rights do you have to say what you said?

Whats your learning style

You Are a Auditory Learner

You tend to remember what you hear, and you have a knack for speaking well. You excel at debating, foreign languages, and music. You would be an excellent diplomat - or rock star!

What's Your Learning Style?

Haha.. Rock star ey?

French Week

Life's been good. Just ok I guess. Dean came last 2 weeks. It was all good. Watched Spiderman 3 together. Spent alot of time catching up. Did breakfast with Chai Yi. Laughed and laughed. Missing him greatly. Hopefully the Perhentian trip with Dean in July's on.. We'll see.


Lets talk bout this week. I had my kitchen class yesterday. It was horrible!! I mean it was fine but the starter was such a bitch. We were supposed to cook soft boiled egg with murney sauce but the quality of the eggs was so bad that it was impossible for it to be soft boiled. In the end, chef kartina told us to hard boil it. ergh. leceh. But my murney sauce was GOOOOOOOOOOD!! The duck was GOOOOOD too!! teehee. The dessert was creme caramel. It was good. All in all, it was good.


M. Yeoh selected a bunch of us to join the Role - Play competition for French week. I was excited. Originally, it was supposed to be me, kyky, ice and reuben in a group. But Ice left the group so, M. Yeoh merged my group with James's group. So it was me, james, kyky, reuben, andrea, justin, ming yi and prince after the merge.
The merge was last minute. We didnt know what to do. At least, i didnt know what to do. M.Yeoh wanted us to do the directions thing. It was boring, I thought. But then, after James emailed me the script, I thought it was rather funny. Something different. The whole idea was boring so they decided to cheer it up by coloring the characters. 2 idiotic policemen, 2 indonesian tourists, 2 tourist, a hot local girl, and a taxi driver. The first time we practised it was a day before the competition. It was funny and all. Today, before the competition, we rehearsed and we came up with even more funnier things. Kyky came with the soundtrack and all. It was great.


Chai Yi's group joined too. If her group had spoken louder, it would have been alot better. But hell, she did a good job anyways! The other BDH was just ok. I couldnt hear anything. I didnt know what theirs was all about. DT on the other hand, did well. Vanessa, Allison, Joanne and the other girl acted great. James told me that their role play was 3 pages long. And ours was just 11/2 page! And we exegerated ours to 5 mins!! Gila right?


Our turn came, and we did our best. The audience was laughing. That's good, was what I thought. I wasnt expecting anything. Honest. Thought DT was gonna win. But to my surprise, we won 1st place!! Happy ok? It was a last minute thing. Really is. We have M. Yeoh to thank. That mother-father.! haha.



Half of the group The dude next to me is our lecturer. With DT. Look who I found? =) Wee2 & Venny.

Parle ma main !!

I am not in a good mood. Awkward-ness is making me moody. And when Im moody, Im mean. When Im mean, I piss ppl off. And thats not cool.

Happy moments

I thuoght this week would be like any other week. I was wrong. This week is by far the best week in 2007.


It all started on Tuesday actually. I had class the whole day. Until 530 actually. But considering this week's the first week and it was the first class, my lecturer let us go 30 mins earlier. So around 5 pm, I was at the mamak with Reuben, Zara & the rest. Was planning to head home after the lepak session. Dean was Dean that day. I asked him what he was going to do the whole day, he said 'watch tv and sleep.' He said he was on leave for a week. Oh well. I thought he'd come and visit or something. He said he would but on Friday. Haih. I was disappointed. I wished he'd come earlier. I mean, why not right? He was on leave. Whatever la. So when I was lepak-ing, I received a text from Dean. It says ' Im in KLIA now. Just arrived.' I was shocked. Who wouldn't? Zara asked me why I looked confused. Hell, I was confused and shocked. So much for watching tv and sleep the whole day.


I called him straight. I was curious and confused. He said he just arrived. So ok. I asked him if I get to see him or not. He said up to me. Hell! Of course I want to meet him. I havent seen him for 2 months!! Thats long ok? Then, Dean said if I didnt wanna see him, he's gonna go straight to Pudu and get the first ticked to Kuantan and will come again on Friday with Don and Ah Choy. Then I told him that I'd go and see him in KLIA straight away. Like hell, Im gonna waste this oppurtunity to see him.


So I went to KLIA only to find out that he's in LCCT which is another 15 mins drive from KLIA. Quite stupid but nvm. Dean punya pasal! haha. So when Ive finally met Dean, we went straight to Sunway, where he checked in at Sun Inn. It was sorta cheap. Then went to pyramid, grab dinner at Secret Recipe. Send him back. Told him that Id pick him up the next morning at arnd 8am coz we promised to have breakfast with Chai Yi in college.


So the next morning, I woke up at 7am. Called Dean up. He didnt pick up. Knowing him. Tido mati im telling you. Tried calling again after shower, didnt pick up. I was thinking, ' nak kena ni Dean ni.' Tried calling until I actually reach Sun Inn. But failed. 'mmg kena.' was what I thought. I asked the receptionist to call him so many times but failed. So I told her, that she had to do something. He had to check out that morning and that it was an emergency. So she went up, brought along the keys. She banged the door, and there he was, all baru bangun tido. * SMACK SMACK* He apologise and all and hit the shower and we were on our way to college. Met up with Chai yi and Jessie. Chatted for awhile. Then I sent him off to LRT station in Kelana Jaya. Off he went to Kuantan.


Thursday was a bore. No Dean. But had lunch with Chai Yi tho. So it wasnt so bad after all.


Friday came. Met up with Chai Yi, Don, Dean and Ah Choy. Lepak at the mamak again. This time longer than the last time. Then Chai Yi went to class. We went to Rouche where I had low shee fun. haha.. Did I get it right? Whatever lah. Lepak-ed. Bang-ed Ah Choy. Poor dude. haha. Just burning time. While waiting for Chai Yi to be done with her class. Then we went our seperate ways. Don & Chai Yi went to Cititel coz that was where Don stayed. Ah Choy went back to Seremban. Dean and I went back to Sun Inn to check him in again. Got his room. He showered and all. Off we went to Sunway Pyramid. Ber-dating tgk cerita hantu. Jangan Pandang Belakang. IT WAS SCARY LIKE FUCK ok? I bit Dean everytime I was scared. It was pretty much all the time. Fuck je. Then after the movie, Dean wanted to eat coz he was hungry. We shared the low shee fun in the afternoon. So yeah. We went to Sushi King. He had his thing. And I had sushi.. Whee.. So around 6, went back to sun inn. Lepak-ed for an hour. Catch up with things. You know 2 months tak jumpe, so like so many things to say. Borak2. So around 7, pulang ke rumah.


Saturday, pergi MV. Picked up Dean from sun inn. Off we went to KTM station. First time taking train. No, Im not spoilt. I trusted him. But we got into the wrong train when we were in KL sentral. Dean Dodol. Haha. But we managed to reach MV on time. Met Chai Yi and Don in Chilli's where Zara and Caryne was the hostesses. Choy said he'd be running late coz his train was stuck. I think lah. So we ordered first. I had the buffulo salad sumthing while Dean and Don had some citrus rice chicken ape tah. Don shared with Chai yi. I shared mine with Dean. And he shared his with me. Choy came and he ordered some salad jgk. Snapped piccies. Made fun of each other. Kacau choy. Food race between dean and choy. It was fun lah. Kan Chai Yi. Then after lunch, Don and chai yi went seperate ways. Chai yi said she wanted to get sumething with don. So oklah. Jalan2 with Dean n Choy. Knowing both of them, toy freaks. They went into every toy store there is in MV. Gila bosan.. haha. not that bosan. Its just that, not my kind of thing. Then dean nak msk every store thats selling adidas thingy. He's an adidas freak btw. Called Chai yi said that we were heading to Secret recipe. I hutang dean one cake from secret recipe. Don and chai yi joined shortly. Kat sana pun byk idiotic moments. Gila funny when dean suap don. haih. it was just so fun. Then we decided to call it the day. After Chai yi got a cab, we went to the train station. That was where choy's head got stuck in between the train's door. I thought it was HILARIOUS. Me, dean and don couldnt stop laugh. We were laughing thru out the train ride. Choy kept his cool. Control la tuh. Dean sent me to my car and then he was back to seremban with don and choy. This is what I had. Enak! Dean & Choy. Food competition. Enaknya! Us =) Dee's handbag. Dean. Choy.


Sunday came. Picked all of them at mentari. Went to pyramid. Lunch at chicken rice shop. It was awkward. Don and Chai yi mcm in a bad mood. I dont know what happened. It was just so odd. Dean's mood pun mcm agak screwed coz it was awkward. We planned to go to sunway lagoon. but with everyone's mood mcm tuh, tak fun. That was what I thought. Dean had his lunch quietly, which was weird coz he's not quiet. He was diff la. then he just took off. I assumed he went to the toilet but weirdest part he didnt came back. He called choy and told him to pay for him first. After paying, called dean and asked his whereabouts, he said he was in MPH. WTF? Went to see him, he was in a diff mood. Cold. I asked him what happened. He said he got affected by ppl's mood. Then he ckp he was in no mood to go to sunway lagoon nemore. So, Don, chai yi and choy went without us. Tried pujuk2 bit. His mood was getting better. Wanted to watch a movie but tade yg best. So pusing2 sunway pyramid till bosan. Then dean decided to go to sunway lagoon.


We went. naik the ferris wheel first. then, the boot thingy. then buffalo roller coaster. by then, dean was ok already. naik the bridge. snapped pics. then turun. bumped into choy, don and chai yi. naik the boots thingy again together. along with the buffalo roller coaster. chai yi takut!! haha.. then amik2 pics again. then the guys went for the scarier roller coaster. chai yi and i tak nak. so we just lepak. the guys turun and they wanted to naik the tomahawk or sumthing. but dean n I wanted to naik the pirates ship. Don n Choy nak join but couldnt coz they werent wearing any slippers or shirts. chai yi mmg tak nak naik. so it was just me and dean. WE THOUGHT it was just a normal ride. Boy we were wrong! it went up 360m degrees tau!! I was scared outta my wits. Dean was calming me down. Asked me to hold his hand. I couldnt. I was scared. it was scary tau! it felt as thou i was on it forever. after it was over, i had a slight headache. dean was apologising and all. it was not his fault. he didnt know too. oh well. did we went into anymore rides after that? umm.. tak ingat. but we did naik the bridge again. with don , chai yi and choy this time. took pics again. then pergi quicksilver shop. main2. dean was posing with that cowboy hat that he so want. haha. then kita pun decide nak pulang. but makan dulu. coz i havent had lunch. pergi KFC. makan2. then beli famous amos for dean and sundae for me. then i sent all of them at setia jaya station. Dean. Don. Choy. US with Don & Chai Yi.. Teehee.. Choy. Don & Chai Yi on his lap.. =)


I had fun. Im glad dean came. happy gila. best ada don, chai yi and choy arnd too. we should do that again!!


right now, dean, don n choy are on the bus. going back to kuantan. shud reach arnd 4 am.


i'll be seeing dean again in may. spiderman 3 together. teehee.

New member

MOHD HARRIS FIRDAUS

Welcome to our family!

Tho you're just 2 days old, but Dadi loves you so so much!

K. Eleen gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on Friday, 6th April 2007, 2.24 pm at SJMC. K. Eleen's still in the hospital. Discharge tomorrow. Im an aunty again! Oh wheeeeeeeee..

So ok. Term 6 tmrw. Ish. Bosan. Pastry tomorrow at 12 then at 4pm I have kitchen class till god-knows-what-time. Hish. Pastry will still be with Chef Karam. But kitchen class on the other hand, Chef Kartina. Oh well..

oh hey

Lets update now. Term 5's coming to an end really soon. Term end exam's is next week and my first paper is financial maths. Kill me now. The only good thing would be my exams will only be 2 days whereas F&B and RD will be 4 days. Then HELLO TERM 6 aka FINAL TERM. Am I excited? FUCK NO!<br>

Just found out last monday that Chef Chong's not teaching us anymore. I wonder who's replacing him. He said it wont be Chef Patrick Siau or Chef Bala. Well that leaves Chef Norizan, Chef Kartina, Chef Tan & Chef Shaari. Hmm. I hope they dont change Chef Karam tho. I love him to bits. Pastry would not have been the same w/out Chef Karam.


Ice kept saying Poka's Green Tea's good shit. Trust me, what im about to tell is the ULTIMATE GOOD SHIT. That is if you're a cheese fan. Get yourself cream cheese and add sugar. Then beat till soft. Then makan! Yes, just like that. Well, we made tiramisu the other day so we had to make those. But if you dont wanna make tiramisu, you can just eat it like that. Sedap amat! Tanya Ice! Meratah tak ingat dunia! The epitome of finger licking good!


Went to MV last friday. Alone. Pathetic kan? Keluar alone. Haih. Anyways, went there bought a thing or two from MnG, Topshop & Dorothy Perkins. I like the feeling. Of buying unnecessary things. Best gila. Then I stumbled upon the coolest shop ever. The knife shop. I went in. Looked around. Went ga ga on every single knife set they have. I nak! But so unaffordable lah. So mahal. One set can reach up to 2k tau! Mahal sgt. But bagus lah. If I were to get it, it wont be the whole friggin set. Still thinking. hmm. should I? Should I not?


Gaduh dengan Dean this morning. Havent heard from him since. Ish. Geram lah. Ish. Menyampah yang sgt2. Tengok lah tmrw morning pulak. Its hard to be in a relationship. Especially when you're in with a very egoistic guy. Im not just saying it. He pun mengaku. Mmg ego sebesar Jupiter. Its like I love him but I friggin hate him at the same time. Esp now. I just dont get guys. EEEEEEE. MENYAMPAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH..

Not meant to be

People say aim high. People say dream big. But what if we're not meant to have big things? Will you not be disappointed? After having aimed so high? Me? Ive never aimed high. Never wanted big things. I just wanted to be happy and free. So at the rate Im going, I wont be disappointed if Im not elected as the valedictorian. Hell, Im not gonna persue higher dip & degree. So Ive got nothing to lose. Just a diploma to gain.

I just realize that we cant always be good at things that we passion in. And I just realize that Im good at nothing. I love cooking but Im not good at it. I love writing. But I cant seem to find the perfect words to describe my feelings & thoughts. Like I said before, words cant justify my thoughts. Other than cooking & writing, I dont know anything else I like or enjoy doing. How do I live knowing I have no talents? Talents that Im aware of. How I can believe that Im different from others if I dont know my specialties?

-no name-

some things are better off unsaid, i guess. ive said enough. life's shitty. je deteste!

I just realize that life's hard. Very hard and complicated. What's life without it huh?



I received my very first warning letter on thursday. I didnt go for only 3 classes. 3! Oh well. It was unavoidable. I wouldnt have skipped those classes if I had a choice. My mom's worried that I may not be able to continue. I will.



I was talking to my mom yesterday. I told her that I wanted to move out as soon as Im done with my diploma. To my surprise, she didnt say no. She even taught me how to tell my dad when the time comes. I saw a different side of my mama yesterday.



I went to MPH a few days back and people there called me 'fat'. Whats the defination of 'fat' anyways? Its scary. Why? Its a sensitive issue. I was plum then, that I have to admit. And I lost all that weight. It was not easy. NOT EASY. I had to starve myself to a point where I fainted often. It was dumb. But I didnt have that much patience to exercise and shit. I wanted to lose weight. And I wanted to lose it straight. No matter what. So, I started working. I was doing the crash diet shit and I worked my ass off in MPH. I worked full shift sometimes for a few days. Full shift meaning 13 hours of work per day. I guess I lost the most weight when I was working. I didnt think I was skinny or slim or thin. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a fat girl. That was what my brother used to call me. Not fat. Garfield. So, whenever I looked into the mirror and saw that ugly fat girl, my determination towards dieting raised up. I wanted to lose more weight desperately. Actually, I didnt care if I was 59kg. As long as I looked slim and thin, I was ok. I know. Superficial and cliche. So, people say I was 'kering' when I was working in MPH. I didnt think so. Now that Im studying, Im not that 'kering' anymore. So not 'kering' that the people in MPH called me 'fat'. Not 'berisi' or 'naik badan' or 'put on a bit of weight'. It was 'FAT'. As if they just dropped a bomb on my shoulder. Literally. I dont think Im all that fat. I dont wear XL. I wear an M. Does it make me fat? I dont know.. This is a sensitive issue to me. I have an eating disorder. Where I cant eat till Im full. And IF I did, I'd do the most stupidest thing. You dont wanna know. I guess I'll be satisfied till Im diagnosed with aneroxia. Wait a sec, I am! Mentally. Great. Now that my ex-collegues dropped a bomb on my shoulder, I think I'll avoid rice or anything yummy for a while. Damn those ppl that put me down.



Other than Dean, I dont have crushes on any other malay dudes. I think I'll make an exception to Awal. He's an actor and a host. He hosted 'BEAT TV'. Yeah. God, hotness. Grr.. He's got that killer smile with a great hair. *drool*



Long distance relationship is harder than I thought. Keeping it stabil is even harder. But I trust Dean. And he trusts me. I have no words to describe how much I love him. I love him more today than I did yesterday. And you wouldnt believe how much I loved him yesterday. Dean's not perfect. Thats him. I gotta accept him for who he really is. Im not perfect too. But I believe in fate. If he was born for me, he's not going anywhere..

Hectic week. Food promo was ok. I dont wanna talk about it.


Pastry class's cancelled tomorrow. Half happy. Half sad. Happy coz I'd be free after 11 am. Sad becoz no money cant go out. Means straight back home la. So boring.


For me, 2007 started rather slow. And nothing good happened. Im worried most of the time. Nothing to be excited about.


You know how guys always say that girls are hard to understand? Well, we're not that complicated. You just have to know the rules. Really. I think guys are hard to crack. I will never know whats going thru in their head. Why cant they understand and get our very basic needs? Let me tell you, once you're in a relationship with a girl, these are the very basic rules.

1) Little things matter to us. You know you love her. She loves you. You know that. She gets that. But it wont hurt to tell her now does it? If she's having a bad day, and you tell her that, it'll make her day instantly. Im speaking for myself but I think most girls agree. We want to hear it. Tho we've heard it thousand times before. It'll make us smile and blush. Dont you just feel good when we do that? Dont you love it when we say I love you out of the blue? When you're not expecting it?


2) Some guys tend to forget their anniversaries. To them, its no big deal. Its one hell of a deal to us. Not just anniversaries, birthdays too. There's no excuse to not remember it. For me, its important. Very important. Sometimes, he just forgot. It upsets me. It does. It really does. To me, there's no excuse. Ive got my own life and its not simple leading my life, but I dont forget. Its something I treasure. Its meaningful. It really gets to me if he doesnt remember. But what can I do huh? Guys will be guys.


3) For me, if I miss him or Im thinking of him, I'd tell him. I'd text him saying that im just dropping by to say that im thinking of him. And that I miss him. And I hope he's happy reading it. It'd be nice to get that sometimes. We dont need long mushy & corny messages with no content. A simple ' I LOVE YOU' or ' I MISS YOU' is all it takes. It can make our day. It can make us smile.


4) Calls. It'd be nice if he calls everyday. But he doesnt. So, I have to just be happy with text msges. If you can afford to call, call. It doesnt have to be long.


5) We girls need time alone too. Just like guys.


6) We girls talk. We do. And there's nothing wrong with that. Keep that in your mind. Nothing wrong with talking.


7) We dont like to be ignored. Dont like to feel ignored. If you feel like you've ignored her, apologise and make sure you mean it.


8) We wanna be pampered. We like to be spoilt rotten. Thats our nature.


9) When we send you a text msg, make sure you reply. An 'ok' does not justify it. For me, getting an 'ok' is as good as no reply at all. Say something pls. If we can make the effort to type something long, the least you could do is write more than just an 'ok'. I dont like getting an 'ok' from my bf. But he does it all the time. WHY?


10) I talk alot. I have to admit. But that doesnt mean I have to start a conversation all the time. I have this thing called 'mood'.


11) We like to be touched. Hold us. Hug us. Hold our hands. It'll make us feel safe.



So yeah. Haha. Mcm self help relationship guide shit. Dont care la.
<

For me, I hate changes. I havent changed from the very beginning of the relationship. At least I think I havent. The start of the relationship are just amazing. Everything's right. You're just very happy. He calls you all the time everyday. You get texts msges all day long. Conversation over text msgs that lasted for days. It happened to me. Seemed too good to be true. I knew that it wouldnt be that way for long. I was right. Now, we dont talk on the phone everyday. Ok by me. I think. But we texts each other. Just not as much. Im still up for that conversation over text msgs that lasted for days. I am. But he's not. I dont know why. Maybe he thinks we're stable. We are. But it'd be nice.


I know he's tired. He's working. But dozing off when we're on the phone? Thats just mean. Makes me feel so unimportant and boring. I know he didnt think that but he sure did give me that impression. As if what I wanted to say didnt matter. Thats how I felt. No offence.


Dee suka kena pujuk. He should belajar pujuk. I pujuk when I did something wrong. He should too. When Im pissed, dont tell me I need time to cool off. I will cool off eventually. I nak kena pujuk. If he buat salah la. And when I do speak my mind, dont make me feel bad. Coz I will and I dont like it coz I have a soft heart and its super fragile. And when I love someone, I'll love him separuh mati. Like now. Im so scared that I'll lose him. It seems like he doesnt even care. Even if he does care.. He doesnt know how to show it which sucked. ish.


Excuse this post. Dee tgh geram je. I need to let it go.

I have made my final decision. I'll give Alice a call on sunday. I wanna ask if MPH Summit take part timers. MPH Parade would be better. But I know Mr. Ong so well. He doesnt take part timers. I need the cash. I do!



Term 5 is ok I guess. Subjects are ok. Except for finance I think. I concentrate like fuck in that class. No kidding. But I dont understand anything. Nothing. And the assessment are 2 weeks away. Im not excited at all. Law on the other hand is a blast. Ms Bhuvanes is awesome. Law is awesome. Dont think Im gonna have that much of a problem with Law. French? So far so good. He's not as bad as I thought he was. He's quite funny with a twisted sense of humour. Twisted indeed.



Food promo's tomorrow. Excited and scared all at the same time. I hope things will go on smooth tomorrow. The theme's ' South East Asian'. Quite boring really. But I think we're doing a good job with the food. Liao's the head chef. Not a surprise. I wanna go to BDH's food promo. The theme's ' White Indulgence'. Sounds good. And its 15 course mea;. Can u imagine? Gila. Sure full punya. But I think it'll be small portion for each course. What do u think? 15 course meal and its 100 bucks. Broke. So just forget about it.



Dean's back in Kuching. For good I think. He's working in Holiday Inn Kuching. As if Kuantan tu tak jauh sgt, kena pindah Kuching. Oh well. Tak pe la. Nak kerja pun. And he is from Kuching. No harm in that. Just, he's super far. And I super miss him. SUPER MISS HIM. I do. We've been together for almost 7 months, and out of that 7 months, we were together physically for only 2 months. Gila. We've been apart longer than together. ISH. Have faith Dee. If its meant to be, its meant to be.

There are things that I can forgive and forget. And to tell the truth, I'd tolerate most things. As much as I hate to admit it, I am some what soft hearted. And its not the best feeling in the world. I'd feel bad if I dont forgive someone and after, I'd hate myself for giving in easily. Im torn really. But if there's one thing you should know, it'd be that if you offend me, there'd be no forgiveness and I would never forget. Just like what someone did to me last month. I have to admit that he's done so many shitty things to me but at the same time he can be nice in a annoying way. But what he did last month was unforgivable. Im not gonna specify. He said the most hurtful thing anyone could have ever said to me. And to think I did nothing to deserve those hurtful words? Thats just plain cruelty. I hate him. I can see that he's trying to be nice to me. But I cant find the space to accept his kindness. I cant even look at him. Sometimes, things would be alot better with him not around. Sometimes, I hate him so much, I even wish him dead. I know I have an evil mind. I dont care. You can hate me for saying this. I repeat, I DONT CARE. Whenever he's not around, I'd wait for the hse phone to ring. I'd hope the hospital or the police to call and tell me that he's involved in an accident and that he passed away. haha. Evil. Oh well. Im just telling the truth. Thats how much I hate him. But then bad people dont die easily. They'll stick arnd longer to torture people. Feh. I hate him. Je deteste!

Hello people!


College's starting tomorrow. A new year. A new term. Cant believe my one month break's over. Dont know whether Im happy or sad. Hm. I dont miss college tho. All I know is that term 5 would be hard. We're gonna have that food promotion thing. The subjects are mighty boring. What do you expect from management subjects? Hmm. I hope I'd do better this term. Chai Yi said that the new french lecturer arent good. My french sux as it is, and with a bad lecturer, it'll only get worse. I can only do so much. What I do look forward to is, wearing those formal clothes. It has been 3 months. I miss my heels. I miss hanging with Reuben, Guna, James, Akila, Zara & Ice. Hopefully Baby & AJ ada. Then, the group will be re-united. Wow. I cant believe I havent seen all of them for 3 months. I know Ive changed a little. I dont know bout the rest.


I dont know why, but I feel like working. I wanna earn those extra cash. I know I get allowance and all, I want to spend too. Plus I could use the hours of working to be away from home. But I know I wont get the green light from my parents. My mom wants me to concentrate 100% on my studies. And I dont blame her. Taylor's bapak mahal. Right now, Im almost sure that I wont continue higher dip. From the way everybody's talking, I dont stand a chance. Bye - bye degree. Bye bye valedictorian. Oh well. It happens.


I wonder if I do well in term 5 & 6, I mean EXTREMELY well, I'd be able to continue degree in a local Uni. Hm. It'd be a whole lot cheaper. But then, would it be the same? I mean, in 6 months, I'll be getting a French Diploma. Hmm.. Is it wise? What if I dont continue? What do I do with a damn diploma? Grr...

The Sweetest Thing

I never knew it could be like this
but I always hoped it would be
from the first day I saw you
I knew you'd complete me.

Your presence makes me smile
every time is fun with you
I've never felt this way before
I see everything in you.

No matter how much time goes by
it feels like every day's the start
I still get butterflies in my stomach
I feel pounding in my heart.

God, the feeling you give me
I hope it never goes away
I'll never let you go
I need you near me every day.

Every night I lay in bed
and replay the first time we kissed
the most perfect lips had touched me
it was everything I wished.

Someone- please pinch me now
you're just too good to be true
I hope all I'm feeling
is the way you feel too.

The sweetest things I've ever known
are the things you say to me
when I think about forever
you and I is what I see.

The Way You Make Me feel

The way I feel when you hold me in your arms
is undescribable.
When you kiss me,
my heart just melts.
When you touch me,
my body goes numb.
Your eyes mesmerize me.
I don't know how you do it.
All you have to do is walk by me
and I feel lightheaded.
It's impossible for me not to smile
when I think of you.
You're so perfect in every way,
it boggles my mind.
I often wonder how it could be me,
and not some beautiful woman
that's holding hands with you.
When you tell me I'm your angel,
I'm so overwhelmed with joy that I almost cry.
When you flash me one of your gorgeous smiles,
I go weak in the knees.
The power that you have over me
is unbelievable.
When you're not by my side,
you're always in my head.
Nothing in the world could measure up
to the way you make me feel.

The Greatest Gift I Ever Knew

The greatest gift I ever knewCame from loving you.

You've been my strengthWhen I was weak.

You've held me high

To reach my peak.

Your love for meI could never betray.

From your gentle arms,

Never will I stray.

You've given a gift,

So special and true,

A gift I'll spend my life

Giving back to you