It is so hard to go thru life everyday pretending to be happy by smiling and laughing.
Its really hard when you're all broken inside.
What Josh did to me has made me even colder towards guys.
What he did shouldnt get to me.
But it did.
I guess Im happy being miserable.
Somehow,it felt right.


I saw Zul today but I didnt say anything.
He didnt look as if he was interested.
Wonder if Im just wasting my time.
But I really like the guy.
Honest.

I read Sam's Letters To Jennifer again,
and it never fails to make me cry.
There was this part where Charles went to look for his father.
He found him.
His father didnt know that he was his son and he trashed him out of the bar.
He owned a bar.
And Charles left.
Sam asked wondered as to why Charles left without letting his dad know that he's his son.
What Charles said touched me.
He said, "I found him easily. Why hadnt he found me before?"
I cried when I read that line.
It has deep meaning.