Dream.

I think it is not too late to wish all of you 'HAPPY NEW YEAR'.

To me, its just another year. All I could do is wish that this year would be different. Better I hope. Because last year wasnt the kind of year I had in mind. It was a disappointment.

I didnt get to do anything at all. I didnt get to go anywhere. I just worked the whole year. And it was unpleasant.

Alot of shit happened la. I dont feel like elaborating. All I can say, my whole life revolves around working in Fridays. And its shit. Shit place to work at.

MOVING ON.

I had this dream. And I dont usually remember my dreams. But this specific one, I do remember. Not in details.

My grandma. My lovely beloved grandma. Who left me 15 years ago. And I was 8. But I remember her. She's the only grandma that Ive never known who left me way too soon.
I regretted that I didnt get to spend much time with her because she was all the way in Terengganu. But being 8, I didnt have much of a choice. I didnt have the resources to go back as I please.

She was special. Truly was. Just like how my grandpa is strict and serious, she was the total opposite. She was loveble and friendly and caring. And I miss her truly. She always had flowers on her hair. Bunga melur. She'd have it underneath her pillow and next to her tikar sejadah (praying mat). And on her hair. Always. I can still smell it tho my nose is blocked.

I can still see her sitting on her chair with flowers on of course. Her blue red and white chair. One of those kerusi relax.

I can still remember, one of the many visits back to t'ganu, the family wanted to go out visiting relatives, I didnt want to go. And she stayed behind. With me.

We shared honeystar together. Me, her, my younger sister.

I remembered her words in the hospital when she was really sick. I called her 'Wan'.
She was " Dulu bila Wan sihat, dee & baby x kerap balik. Sekarang Wan dah sakit. Dah tak boleh main lagi dah".
That was what she said.

I dont remember the last time she came to me in my dreams. But she did. Last night. She looked happy. She really did.

I told my mom. She said, 'tu la. Dee x ingat Wan'. If only she knew how much I miss her. But she's right about tak sedekah al-fatihah. I havent done that in a while. This is a reminder. I should start.

She looked happy. My mom said she's in a good place. I believe her. She was a great person. Who left too soon.