Hectic week. Food promo was ok. I dont wanna talk about it.


Pastry class's cancelled tomorrow. Half happy. Half sad. Happy coz I'd be free after 11 am. Sad becoz no money cant go out. Means straight back home la. So boring.


For me, 2007 started rather slow. And nothing good happened. Im worried most of the time. Nothing to be excited about.


You know how guys always say that girls are hard to understand? Well, we're not that complicated. You just have to know the rules. Really. I think guys are hard to crack. I will never know whats going thru in their head. Why cant they understand and get our very basic needs? Let me tell you, once you're in a relationship with a girl, these are the very basic rules.

1) Little things matter to us. You know you love her. She loves you. You know that. She gets that. But it wont hurt to tell her now does it? If she's having a bad day, and you tell her that, it'll make her day instantly. Im speaking for myself but I think most girls agree. We want to hear it. Tho we've heard it thousand times before. It'll make us smile and blush. Dont you just feel good when we do that? Dont you love it when we say I love you out of the blue? When you're not expecting it?


2) Some guys tend to forget their anniversaries. To them, its no big deal. Its one hell of a deal to us. Not just anniversaries, birthdays too. There's no excuse to not remember it. For me, its important. Very important. Sometimes, he just forgot. It upsets me. It does. It really does. To me, there's no excuse. Ive got my own life and its not simple leading my life, but I dont forget. Its something I treasure. Its meaningful. It really gets to me if he doesnt remember. But what can I do huh? Guys will be guys.


3) For me, if I miss him or Im thinking of him, I'd tell him. I'd text him saying that im just dropping by to say that im thinking of him. And that I miss him. And I hope he's happy reading it. It'd be nice to get that sometimes. We dont need long mushy & corny messages with no content. A simple ' I LOVE YOU' or ' I MISS YOU' is all it takes. It can make our day. It can make us smile.


4) Calls. It'd be nice if he calls everyday. But he doesnt. So, I have to just be happy with text msges. If you can afford to call, call. It doesnt have to be long.


5) We girls need time alone too. Just like guys.


6) We girls talk. We do. And there's nothing wrong with that. Keep that in your mind. Nothing wrong with talking.


7) We dont like to be ignored. Dont like to feel ignored. If you feel like you've ignored her, apologise and make sure you mean it.


8) We wanna be pampered. We like to be spoilt rotten. Thats our nature.


9) When we send you a text msg, make sure you reply. An 'ok' does not justify it. For me, getting an 'ok' is as good as no reply at all. Say something pls. If we can make the effort to type something long, the least you could do is write more than just an 'ok'. I dont like getting an 'ok' from my bf. But he does it all the time. WHY?


10) I talk alot. I have to admit. But that doesnt mean I have to start a conversation all the time. I have this thing called 'mood'.


11) We like to be touched. Hold us. Hug us. Hold our hands. It'll make us feel safe.



So yeah. Haha. Mcm self help relationship guide shit. Dont care la.
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For me, I hate changes. I havent changed from the very beginning of the relationship. At least I think I havent. The start of the relationship are just amazing. Everything's right. You're just very happy. He calls you all the time everyday. You get texts msges all day long. Conversation over text msgs that lasted for days. It happened to me. Seemed too good to be true. I knew that it wouldnt be that way for long. I was right. Now, we dont talk on the phone everyday. Ok by me. I think. But we texts each other. Just not as much. Im still up for that conversation over text msgs that lasted for days. I am. But he's not. I dont know why. Maybe he thinks we're stable. We are. But it'd be nice.


I know he's tired. He's working. But dozing off when we're on the phone? Thats just mean. Makes me feel so unimportant and boring. I know he didnt think that but he sure did give me that impression. As if what I wanted to say didnt matter. Thats how I felt. No offence.


Dee suka kena pujuk. He should belajar pujuk. I pujuk when I did something wrong. He should too. When Im pissed, dont tell me I need time to cool off. I will cool off eventually. I nak kena pujuk. If he buat salah la. And when I do speak my mind, dont make me feel bad. Coz I will and I dont like it coz I have a soft heart and its super fragile. And when I love someone, I'll love him separuh mati. Like now. Im so scared that I'll lose him. It seems like he doesnt even care. Even if he does care.. He doesnt know how to show it which sucked. ish.


Excuse this post. Dee tgh geram je. I need to let it go.

I have made my final decision. I'll give Alice a call on sunday. I wanna ask if MPH Summit take part timers. MPH Parade would be better. But I know Mr. Ong so well. He doesnt take part timers. I need the cash. I do!



Term 5 is ok I guess. Subjects are ok. Except for finance I think. I concentrate like fuck in that class. No kidding. But I dont understand anything. Nothing. And the assessment are 2 weeks away. Im not excited at all. Law on the other hand is a blast. Ms Bhuvanes is awesome. Law is awesome. Dont think Im gonna have that much of a problem with Law. French? So far so good. He's not as bad as I thought he was. He's quite funny with a twisted sense of humour. Twisted indeed.



Food promo's tomorrow. Excited and scared all at the same time. I hope things will go on smooth tomorrow. The theme's ' South East Asian'. Quite boring really. But I think we're doing a good job with the food. Liao's the head chef. Not a surprise. I wanna go to BDH's food promo. The theme's ' White Indulgence'. Sounds good. And its 15 course mea;. Can u imagine? Gila. Sure full punya. But I think it'll be small portion for each course. What do u think? 15 course meal and its 100 bucks. Broke. So just forget about it.



Dean's back in Kuching. For good I think. He's working in Holiday Inn Kuching. As if Kuantan tu tak jauh sgt, kena pindah Kuching. Oh well. Tak pe la. Nak kerja pun. And he is from Kuching. No harm in that. Just, he's super far. And I super miss him. SUPER MISS HIM. I do. We've been together for almost 7 months, and out of that 7 months, we were together physically for only 2 months. Gila. We've been apart longer than together. ISH. Have faith Dee. If its meant to be, its meant to be.

There are things that I can forgive and forget. And to tell the truth, I'd tolerate most things. As much as I hate to admit it, I am some what soft hearted. And its not the best feeling in the world. I'd feel bad if I dont forgive someone and after, I'd hate myself for giving in easily. Im torn really. But if there's one thing you should know, it'd be that if you offend me, there'd be no forgiveness and I would never forget. Just like what someone did to me last month. I have to admit that he's done so many shitty things to me but at the same time he can be nice in a annoying way. But what he did last month was unforgivable. Im not gonna specify. He said the most hurtful thing anyone could have ever said to me. And to think I did nothing to deserve those hurtful words? Thats just plain cruelty. I hate him. I can see that he's trying to be nice to me. But I cant find the space to accept his kindness. I cant even look at him. Sometimes, things would be alot better with him not around. Sometimes, I hate him so much, I even wish him dead. I know I have an evil mind. I dont care. You can hate me for saying this. I repeat, I DONT CARE. Whenever he's not around, I'd wait for the hse phone to ring. I'd hope the hospital or the police to call and tell me that he's involved in an accident and that he passed away. haha. Evil. Oh well. Im just telling the truth. Thats how much I hate him. But then bad people dont die easily. They'll stick arnd longer to torture people. Feh. I hate him. Je deteste!

Hello people!


College's starting tomorrow. A new year. A new term. Cant believe my one month break's over. Dont know whether Im happy or sad. Hm. I dont miss college tho. All I know is that term 5 would be hard. We're gonna have that food promotion thing. The subjects are mighty boring. What do you expect from management subjects? Hmm. I hope I'd do better this term. Chai Yi said that the new french lecturer arent good. My french sux as it is, and with a bad lecturer, it'll only get worse. I can only do so much. What I do look forward to is, wearing those formal clothes. It has been 3 months. I miss my heels. I miss hanging with Reuben, Guna, James, Akila, Zara & Ice. Hopefully Baby & AJ ada. Then, the group will be re-united. Wow. I cant believe I havent seen all of them for 3 months. I know Ive changed a little. I dont know bout the rest.


I dont know why, but I feel like working. I wanna earn those extra cash. I know I get allowance and all, I want to spend too. Plus I could use the hours of working to be away from home. But I know I wont get the green light from my parents. My mom wants me to concentrate 100% on my studies. And I dont blame her. Taylor's bapak mahal. Right now, Im almost sure that I wont continue higher dip. From the way everybody's talking, I dont stand a chance. Bye - bye degree. Bye bye valedictorian. Oh well. It happens.


I wonder if I do well in term 5 & 6, I mean EXTREMELY well, I'd be able to continue degree in a local Uni. Hm. It'd be a whole lot cheaper. But then, would it be the same? I mean, in 6 months, I'll be getting a French Diploma. Hmm.. Is it wise? What if I dont continue? What do I do with a damn diploma? Grr...

The Sweetest Thing

I never knew it could be like this
but I always hoped it would be
from the first day I saw you
I knew you'd complete me.

Your presence makes me smile
every time is fun with you
I've never felt this way before
I see everything in you.

No matter how much time goes by
it feels like every day's the start
I still get butterflies in my stomach
I feel pounding in my heart.

God, the feeling you give me
I hope it never goes away
I'll never let you go
I need you near me every day.

Every night I lay in bed
and replay the first time we kissed
the most perfect lips had touched me
it was everything I wished.

Someone- please pinch me now
you're just too good to be true
I hope all I'm feeling
is the way you feel too.

The sweetest things I've ever known
are the things you say to me
when I think about forever
you and I is what I see.

The Way You Make Me feel

The way I feel when you hold me in your arms
is undescribable.
When you kiss me,
my heart just melts.
When you touch me,
my body goes numb.
Your eyes mesmerize me.
I don't know how you do it.
All you have to do is walk by me
and I feel lightheaded.
It's impossible for me not to smile
when I think of you.
You're so perfect in every way,
it boggles my mind.
I often wonder how it could be me,
and not some beautiful woman
that's holding hands with you.
When you tell me I'm your angel,
I'm so overwhelmed with joy that I almost cry.
When you flash me one of your gorgeous smiles,
I go weak in the knees.
The power that you have over me
is unbelievable.
When you're not by my side,
you're always in my head.
Nothing in the world could measure up
to the way you make me feel.

The Greatest Gift I Ever Knew

The greatest gift I ever knewCame from loving you.

You've been my strengthWhen I was weak.

You've held me high

To reach my peak.

Your love for meI could never betray.

From your gentle arms,

Never will I stray.

You've given a gift,

So special and true,

A gift I'll spend my life

Giving back to you