Call me whatever you want but Im still not over Club Med. Im so far from getting over Club Med. The people especially. Gue kangen banget sama teman2 Club Med gue. Kangen skali.

College has started last week. Now, Im a specialized cuisine student. Everything's ok. Nothing special. Boring subjects with boring lecturers. I got myself a boring chef too. From Chef Patrick yg hot lagi best to Chef Chong yg mcm sgt blur with no sense of humour. Bless me for the next year with him. I'd usually be all hyped up to go to kitchen class but this term, I dont know. Kinda lost all interest. Still interested but haih.. Malas.. I dont look forward to his class at all. I do look forward when the F&B students starts firing order tho. Coz when they do so, it simply means, Im going back soon. At least sooner than them. ahahah.

Nothing interesting so far. Just that Im so happy with Dean now. I thought mr right was just lost. Turned out that mr right was right in front of my very eyes. Just that he jual mahal..ahahha..No la..he was just shy. Couldnt have asked for a better guy. He's perfect. Saya sayang awak!

Went for my industrial training briefing yesterday. I have to make my selection by this monday. This monday! And I still cant log on into the stupid ITS webbie. Dang. Im hoping to go back to Club Med. Yes, to see Dean and also because I just have to get out of this house. My mom made me feel like this house is so much better off without having me around. I felt like a burden to her. I dont know how I am a burden to her. I dont want to be one but I guess I am one. She cant seem to accept me the way I really am. And that hurts. I am not my sisters. Will never be like them. Dont wanna be them. Why is it so hard to accept the fact that I might be a little different from them? Why is it so hard to swallow that I might like my hair to be half red instead of full black? Why is so hard to face the fact that I might be a little bit daring than my sisters? Why cant she stop making me feel like a burden? Cuts me deep. Really. I really wanna go back to Club Med and I dont want to come back. If only.. I will go back whether she likes it or not. Im almost 20 now and I think I have a say in this. Its my life and I should have a say just as much as her. I just wanna get away really from all this.

Im just thankful I have Dean. He thought me how to feel and appreciate a person again. Its nice having a guy who can accept you the way you really are. If you havent found him, trust me, he's out there. Somewhere! He'll show up when you least expected it. Trust me on this! Coz Ive found mine when I wasnt looking.