FALLING APART.

I've given away my heart,
So it could be torn into pieces.
He left me with the feelings of betrayal and being forgotten.
I'm so in love, yet so alone, with two years thrown away.
Feeling his absense hurts the most.
My constant urge to call is almost taking over, while on the other side, my cycle of feelings starts with rage.
Slowly going into sadness, rage again, desperation, devastation, and finally denial.
Every morning I open my eyes to emptiness.
Seeing a long black hallway with nothing in between.
This so-called love has taken over my life leaving me distracted.
Days pass by and now my emotions are going crazy.
Leaving me no choice but to vomit.
To empty my pesimistic thoughts.
To stop thinking my life is over.
To stop my tears everynight from falling.
To stop feeling like my heart has shattered into fifty pieces.
The hardest part of moving on is the jealousy on top of all my misery.
But soon enough I'll go to bed realizing I survived this struggle.
I need to escape my depression to continue breathing.
And regain my strength to love again.

THE TRUE REASON

He said he wouldn't leave me
he promised to be by my side
he said I'd be his forever
he promised we'd never divide

he was my soul, my life
he meant everything to me
he was my one and only
until he had to leave

they said that it was suicide
they said his life was rough
then I fell down to my knees
and I never got back up

I sat there crying for hours
my knees pulled to my chest
and right then at that moment
my life turned into a mess

everything i had
was right before my eyes
it left in such a hurry
I couldn't say goodbye


I thought about his words
the last he spoke to me
I didn't understand
he said he wouldn't leave

I blamed it on mysel
f it was my fault he was gone
then I told myself
there's no way I could go on

they said that it was suicide
they said that I gave up
but no one knew the true reason
the true reason was love

+ DeLaiLa +

Ive been writing & it feels really good to let go.
I'll write more.
Toodles.